Letters for my brother. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.
People who talk on the cell phone while in the bathroom.
Do I really need to say more?
There is nothing worse, particularly in a public bathroom where it is possible, someone could have seen you walk in and is talking to you, than to be sitting on the toilet trying to pee and hear someone say, "Hi! What are you doing?"
I swear it makes me want to come out of there (after I've finished my business, of course) and pummell someone.
Man when did gasoline become so expensive? It's nearly $2 a gallon here and from what I read it's more than that in other places. Milk has gone to almost $4 a gallon too! We drink a lot of milk in my house. At the first of the year I found it at Walgreen's for $1.99 a gallon and that was a real bargin. Now it's nearly doubled! What is going on in the world and why isn't my salary raising as much as (ha! "as much" how about at all?!?) all these necessary things?
Another nice dampened by having to work; being part of the working class sucks!
I was suppose to take the Husband's car to the shop today. Last night the "check engine" light came on. I came to work and called the dealership about bringing it in at lunch; it's one of those places that wants you to make an appointment to get your car looked at. When did we start having to make appointments to get our cars looked at? Anyway the gum smacking enforcer at the front, a blond no doubt, said unless I got it there before 10:00 she wouldn't tell me it would be ready today. Like she was going to make me any promises anyway. So we agreed since the check engine light wasn't blinking, it was just on, that it would probably be o.k. to drive it until tomorrow and bring it in first thing. I'll see if the GranMa can meet the BoyChild and me there and take me to work in the morning.
Since my lunch time had cleared up I went by the bookstore and good a book we might read for the GirlChild's Mother-Daughter Bookclub. The GirlChild has been interested in my bookclub and was excited when I asked if she'd like to start one of her own. I sent notes to school that came home Friday and I sent a note to one of the other catholic schools in our neighborhood. I've got five (counting the GirlChild) mother-daughter groups that are interested.
I did some web surfing last night and found a book that might work. It appears to be the right age group. The main thing it has to recommend itself, I found discussion questions that have already been written. I talked to a woman who has a group of little girls a little older in a Mother-Daughter Bookclub. She said the way they did it was they had a "faciliator" who typed questions on separate pieces of paper and the girls would draw a piece of paper out of a hat and answer the question to generate discussion. We don't have a faciliator so we'll have to be responsible for the questions ourselves. I don't mind limiting myself to books where someone else has already done the work.
Finding a place and time to meet might be difficult. Weekends are cock full of activities during the year with sports usually dominating our weekends but I don't like the idea of trying to fit something else into our evenings. I guess we'll just see how it goes this summer.
Gotta run.
Peace,
M&Co.
This is the first weekend we didn't have anything scheduled I can remember in a long time. We didn't have anything to do with the GirlChild's school, church or the extended famil.
The weather was beautiful. Yesterday it was sort of overcast and we did our errand running. Grocery store for our weekly essentials. SuperTarget for the none food sorts of essentials, papertowels, toilet and the ever important diapers.
The laundry is almost caught up. We've really got to do a load of laundry a day in order to keep ahead of it but the last week or so I haven't felt like putting a load on before I go to work.
The GirlChild took this lull in activity as an opportunity to go spend the night with Baba and GranMa. They opened the pool the last of April but the water is still very, very cold. The GirlChild didn't swim this weekend but has swam every other weekend since they opened it. As much as the BoyChild wants in the water, and he wants in badly, I've not let him swim yet. I think the cold would suck the life out of his tiny little body.
We bought plants and put together our hanging baskets this weekend. It was a little later than we normally do them but we've not had much time.
The GirlChild has two more weeks of school. The Husband has three.
The GirlChild is going away to sleep over camp this summer. I may have mentioned before I'm a little anxious about it. I've never been away from her for a week before. I'm trying to keep it positive. They sent a list of things we are suppose to send with them. We can send "mail" to be delivered by the counselors during the week. I'm thinking about things to send to her.
The BoyChild was adorable today. Need I say more?
Gotta go to bed now.
Ciao,
M&Co.
For some reason I completely forgot it was Mother's Day this weekend. Not that I had any big plans for MartyrMom or anything. I just didn't remember.
The Husband and kids got me a watch. I'm trying not to think it's a not so subtle hint to remind me to be on time more often and instead view it as a fashion accessory. The Husband says all the adults in the GirlChild's life wear a watch, except for me, and that she's decided I need to wear one. It's a Timex; "takes a licking and keeps on ticking." It has a second hand and the date. It is black, so it goes with all my clothes. For the GirlChild it is down right boring and she must have had to struggle with the crow side of her to pick it out.
Yesterday was pretty slow. Funeral. Grocery store. Mass. Home. Today we are cleaning house, doing laundry and generally getting ready for the week to begin. Going to Baba & GranMa's to celebrate Mother's day later. We may do a movie afterwards with the GirlChild and one or two of her friends.
I haven't been very focused this weekend. I have a list of things in my head that need doing but not a lot of time or energy or focus to get them done.
I watched Donald Rumsfeld testify before the Senate while I was eating lunch the other day. He is the most obstreperous, argumentative person I've ever seen and he was almost humble. This prison abuse scandal may cost him his job. It sort of appears to me that they were prepared for the war, but didn't have as good a plan for getting and keeping the peace. The thing that makes me wonder about all these pictures (and now this video they are talking about which might exist) is: This is something these people wanted to memorialize in pictures? These guys thought that was a Kodak moment? It's horrifying to think that they did these thing; putting a leash around the neck of a naked guy. But then they saved that repugnant thought to a photo. Something to show the grand kids, "yeah, I mistreated people during the second Iraq war, son, I'm so proud." I just don't get it.
Three more weeks until the GirlChild is out of school and four more weeks until the Husband is out of school. It's about time. Everyone is Tie.Erd. We've signed the GirlChild up for sleep over camp. She's going to have tutoring for her reading again this summer. We'll keep up with the Kumon. I'm looking into basketball camp. The Husband has gotten some brochures for acting camp and space camp. I don't know whether we'll take a vacation this summer. The Husband doesn't get out of school until the first week in June and then has to go back the second week of August so he's not getting much of a break.
In any event, I think we are all ready for a break.
I hear the BoyChild rousing.
Peace,
M&Co.
Well I should be back at work. Tormenting poor unsuspecting souls. I'm getting a piss poor attitude about the place again but I won't go into it now. Too complicated and slimy to go into now.
I went to the GirlChild's school for her birthday party there. We had those itty bitty Sprites and a huge chocolate chip cookie (it's surprising how big a 16 inch cookie really is) with balloons on it. I like those itty bitty soft drink cans even though you get more for your money with the regular ones. Enough soda for them to feel like they got something but not so much that they'll be totally hyped up on sugar all afternoon. There was enough of the cookie for everyone to have seconds (a really big deal in the life of a third grader). Our little soiree was a hit.
Whenever someone shows up in the GirlChild's class they teacher has them trained to stand up and say "Good Afternoon, Mrs. Whoever is here." I'm sure they are trying to teach them good manners and such but I've got to admit I find it a little creepy.
Have I told you the Husband and I are the "cool parents?" I'm a little unclear how we acquired that titled but I've been told that by several different reliable sources. I'm not sure the GirlChild has gotten the word yet. It might be that she just doesn't fully appreciate it yet. Or it may be the no man is a prophet in his own land. Or something.
Tonight the GranMa is going to bring them back to our house about 7:15 so we can have cake and blow out candles. I'd say we were going to open up gifts, but the Husband let her open all her gifts this morning so we don't have any left. She was psyched about her gifts, particularly the CDs I got her, and this morning might have agreed that I was the cool parent in her class. Hopefully by the time we finish with the cake and any residual gifts she'll be ready for bed. Last night she was so excited by the upcoming festivities that she didn't get to sleep until after 9:30.
I guess I should go back to work. I've finished my high-protein lunch. Hopefully my car doesn't smell like sugar any more.
Ciao,
M&Co.
Not much going on these days. Life is busy. The kids are healthy.
What else has been happening?
Tonight I went to Ask-A-Lawyer for Law Day. The bar association sets up phone banks and we take calls and answer any burning questions the general public might have. I've done it every year since I've become a lawyer and actually look forward to it. Tonight most of the people are normal and the questions seemed legit.
My husband has his child support taken out of his check and mailed to his ex by Court Order. How do we get that as well as the amount we pay when the kid turns 18 changed.
File a motion to modify.
I want to deed my house to my kid but I don't want him to be able to do anything with it until I die. Can I do that?
Yes you can, deed it to him and reserve a life estate for yourself.
Can I write my own Will?
While I don't really recommend it, yes you can. Write it all in your own hand writing. Keep it simple. Date it and sign it.
I took 18 calls in two hours and only had to punt once. The questions that stumped me was:
I got foreclosure papers today in the mail; how long do I have before they take my house?
I gave that call to the EvilGenius who was there with me. I could have guessed, and gotten it right based upon what I heard of his conversation, but I thought this probably important enough to her that she needed to talk to someone who could give her definitive information.
Some years I go and it seems like every call I get is a nut case.
How come I have to give identifying information to the bank in order to let them keep my money?
What would happen if I stopped paying my child support and just moved my kid from my ex's house to mine?
It was a fun night.
The GirlChild turns ten tomorrow. I can't believe how big she's gotten. She's sprung breasts and begun to have curves. She is still very much a little girl, but I see the beginnings of womanhood when I look at her. It makes me sad. My baby has completely and totally abandoned me.
I've ordered a cookie cake and bought soft drinks for her class tomorrow. The GranMa is going to take her and the BFFEIS to dinner after school. We're going to have the family celebration on Saturday. She wants to have a swimming party at the Baba and GranMa's but that will have to wait until later in the month when it is warmer. The Husband and I got her a game for her GameBoyAdvance, a game for her PS2 and some music CDs. I wanted to get her a new swimsuit but after looking at them, I couldn't decide what size to get her, so I gave up that idea.
This has been a slow week. Tonight was the only night I had away from home and the husband didn't have any. Last week the husband had a meeting on Monday night, I had a meeting on Tuesday night and we both had to attend a dinner on Thursday. I really hate weeks like that.
I have a little bit of a headache and a little sore throat. I hope I'm not getting sick. We have a big weekend coming up and I can't afford to be sick. Funeral for associates father, birthday party for the GirlChild, movie with GirlChild and some friends for her birthday plus all the regular junk we have to try to accomplish on the weekend.
Blah. I do lead a boring life.
Peace,
M&Co.
Today was a beautiful spring day. The kind of day which makes you glad to be alive and happy to live in such a beautiful place. There wasn't too much wind, it wasn't too hot, it wasn't too chilly, it didn't rain, it was just almost perfect. There haven't been many of those days this spring so we decided to take advantage of it.
Week before last we realized our lawn mower had been stolen. We don't know when it happened. The Husband had mowed so it couldn't have been much more than ten days or two weeks before we noticed it. So we began our quest for the perfect lawn mower. Now I can get into shopping. I can find a bargain when I'm motivated. I can compare features and decide which ones I must have and which ones I can live without. I can do those things. Lawn mowers do not motivate me to do those things.
I love the smell of just mowed grass. I love the look of a full lush lawn with those lines so you can tell which direction the lawn mower has gone. I cannot for the life of me, remember when I last mowed the lawn. Any lawn. Anywhere. It had to be when I lived in Norman. I bought my first lawn mower at the Ace Hardware for $99. It had a Briggs and Stratton engine (the husband tells me most of them do) was red and 19 inches and it didn't have a mulching feature (this would probably have been before we'd ever heard of mulching) and I'm not sure it had a bag. Several years ago we gave it to my secretary and her then husband because we'd been given a mulching mower with a bag by the PsychoSister. That's the mower that got stolen.
The Husband studied the ads in the newspaper. He hit all the usual places for a lawn mower; Lowe's, Home Depot, Ace Hardware, Sears. He finally decided on one at Sears. He drug the children and I to Sears to look at the possible choices. He seemed hurt when the GirlChild wandered off to look at the exercise equipment and the BoyChild and I took off in search of riding mowers/tractors. He took me by the arm and showed me the two he'd narrowed it down to and said,
"what do you think?"
I thought many things like,
"you're kidding right?"
"why are you asking me?"
But what I said was, "either one looks good to me." In the end, he decided by which one they had in stock.
He is so excited by his new lawn mower I wish we'd gotten him one sooner. He says it's easier to mow with and it doesn't wear him out as much. He's mowed twice since we got it last weekend.
We took advantage of the nice weather and planted some hostas in the front flower bed and moved some of my yard art around. I do love my yard art! Here's looking at you kid! You think I belong in the trailer park?
Peace,
M&Co.
#76
Spring has officially arrived.
We had a terrible thunderstorm this afternoon. It amazes me how worked up that group can get over the weather.
I worried because I was suppose to take the BoyChild to the doctor at 5:30. When the hail started, at about the same time the Husband was suppose to bring the BoyChild to my office, I called and we decided to cancel the appointment. The storm was moving in the direction of the doctor's office and I didn't want to be out with the BoyChild in a hail storm. I assume the storm sirens must have scared the people at the doctor's office too because when I called to cancel the appointment, they had shut down the switchboard.
When the power went out at my office, I decided to leave. Not before the hail made the hood of my ecological disaster look like some midget had take a small hammer to it, however.
The BoyChild had the croup. The cough and wheezing has subsided but he still has a runny nose and I'm worried. He's fussy and tired, cranky and aggressive and is crying a lot. I'm afraid his runny nose has turned into an ear or sinus infection.
When the GirlChild was little, it was easy. When she got sick she ran a high fever and I knew something was wrong. The BoyChild rarely runs a fever but will still be sick.
The BoyChild is a fearless little tyke.
He climbs the slide, not the little kid slide we have but the GirlChild's full sized slid, effortlessly and goes careening into the yard with a giant belly laugh.
He can walk up the stairs by himself but does have sense enough to demand we hold his hand when he goes down stairs. We leave the gate at the top of the stairs open when we go down so if he gets to the top, he won't have to turn around and maneuver the stairs on the way down. Generally one of us is right behind him if he hits the stairs but he's so fast occasionally he'll make it to the top before we can catch him.
He can climb into his high chair and almost snap the belt around his waist.
He climbs on the beds without any assistance and has balance enough to keep himself from falling off. Before I finally removed the ladder, he loved nothing better than to climb onto the top bunk of the GirlChild's bunk bed and sit up there.
I'm not use to this type of fearlessness. He takes my breath away in that really bad sort of way with his fearlessness.
He also ain't no wimp. The other day we were in the front yard and he took off running down the driveway. I went after him when he tumbled and I had to jump over him in order to keep from falling on him. I'm sure we were quite a sight. It was only later that I realized he'd skinned his knees when he fell. It had to have hurt but he just popped up and kept up the game.
Yesterday we went for a walk around the block. There was a PTO meeting at the GirlChild's school. To try to raise attendance at these things the teacher's offer a free homework night if the child's parents attend. The husband and the GirlChild went and the BoyChild and I stayed home to get dinner ready. After I'd gotten dinner in the oven, we decided to go for a walk. The BoyChild took a tumble on the sidewalk and picked himself up with an "I ok."
He's talking now. Making complete sentences. Not really great communication skills but he can sometimes make himself understood.
"Mine!"
"I no poop."
"I poop."
"Mama poop."
"Where Dizzy." (His name for the GirlChild)
"Mama Dar."
I can't figure out what he calls the GranMa. He can name everyone, "Baba," "Mama," "Dada," "Dizzy" but seems genuinely puzzled when we ask who the GranMa is.
He's also very sweet. The other night I had to go to a meeting downtown and didn't want to have to worry about parking. I had the Husband and the kids drop me off and I intended to catch a ride home with the Baba. In the morning when I drop the GirlChild off at school I kiss my hand and she kisses her hand and we touch them together as part of our good-bye routine. I did that with her when I got ready to get out and the BoyChild started grunting. I kissed my hand and reached in the back where he grabbed it and kissed it good-bye.
Time for bed.
Peace,
M&Co.
I've been home alone this morning. The GranMa has an appointment at The Allergy Clinic for some allergy testing. Well sort of alone anyway. They BoyChild has been asleep since before I arrived so I'm alone but not really.
I am so rarely home during the day and so very rarely home alone that I don't really know what to do with myself. The house is relatively clean. Laundry is going. I don't know what's on daytime television and am not particularly interested in finding out.
My plan was to work. My problem is I synced my laptop with the server this morning, thereby wiping out the stuff on my laptop I could work upon, and in my rush to get out of the office this morning, I forgot to sync it to put the information back on my laptop. So I have my laptop, and while it works, none of the stuff I need to work on is on it.
I've balanced all our bank accounts. I've paid some bills I had sitting on my desk.
I've been eyeing this thick packet of forms, letters, notices, disclosure statements, power of attorney form, I got from Charles Schwab & Co. I've eyed it but haven't gotten much past that and thinking "oh, gawd!" and looking away quickly.
The Husband and I have decided to move all our retirement stuff there. We have some of it at Merrill Lynch but have become increasingly unhappy the last few years. It's expensive. They aren't very responsive to my requests. I don't have anyone I know there anymore.
Last year we moved one of our accounts to Schwab. They've been very nice. They are very receptive to helping when I call. They aren't charging me money so they can hold my money for me. So we've decided to take the plunge and move it all over there. That requires we read me there get all our account statements out and fill in these little-bitty blanks with a huge amount of information, sign a gazillion different times and places and make sure it all goes back into an envelope and gets returned to them. In the end probably worth it, but daunting to think about.
I've not looked at it closely but I'm not sure whether I have enough copies of all these forms to move everything. I don't know how we've gotten so spread out but we have a lot of stuff at a lot of different places. The Husband has a ROTH which has only Exxon Stock. Which Exxon holds for him. The Husband has a ROTH at ML. The Husband has his 402b, like a 401k but his school is a non-profit, at someplace else entirely. We have an education IRA for the GirlChild held by that entity the state set up and then we have my retirement accounts still at ML.
We also have some common stock which I've not decided whether we are going to move to Schwab. If we move all that, I know we won't have enough copies of these forms. So that just sits there. Waiting to be paid attention to. Me dreading it like the plague.
The Husband and I have been trying to watch Band of Brothers. It's showing on the History Channel. Being relative newcomers to cable, we didn't see it without commercial interruptions on HBO. It comes on at 8:00, which is problematic for us; we don't get the BoyChild down for bed much before 8:30 and the GirlChild usually not before 9:00. I won't let the GirlChild watch it. Even if RangerDoc weren't in a war zone, I doubt I would let her watch it. It's a little too graphic and gory and violent for her, especially right before bedtime. I've liked what I've seen but I've got a terrible problem with Captain Winters. He's an English man who went to Eton playing some guy from Pennsylvania. He will always be the uptight, angry, controlling, manipulative Soames from the Forsyth Saga. I think I might just have to break down and borrow Band of Brothers from Baba on DVD.
The GirlChild loved the Forsyth Saga. She talked about the characters. Why they behaved in a particular way. And she seemed to understand. Young Jolyon acted this way because that was the same way Old Jolyon acted when he was young. She behaved so she could watch it. There wasn't any real sex or violence and it was a nice way to end the weekend.
We went to Baba and GranMa's house for Easter. Before we went to the Easter Egg Hunt at Church. The BoyChild was assisted in his quest for goods by the GirlChild and the BestFriend. The BoyChild examining his loot.
Ah company! I hear someone stirring who thinks I'm the most wonderful person in the world. Gotta go cause he wakes up hungry.
Peace,
M&Co.
I've not been very good about writing lately. Sorry, I'll try to do better.
So what about today. Not a whole lot going on.
I went to work. Tormented some people. Wasn't tormented too much by people. All in all, not too bad of a day. I didn't post all my billables yet so I guess I shouldn't be too quick to say that.
The GirlChild and the Husband didn't have to go to school today, Good Friday and all that. The GirlChild has Monday off, Easter Monday, but the Husband doesn't. I think I'll take the day off and spend it with the kids. I thought about taking today off so all of us could spend it together but then that means the kids would have to get up and get dressed to go Monday morning cause I really couldn't take two days off. So I thought I'd try to go in this weekend for awhile and stay home with the kids on Monday. I want my kids to be be able to sleep in. Play on the PlayStation in their PJs and not have to worry about being somewhere all the damn time.
I tried a couple of weeks ago to figure out when I could go pick the GirlChild up and bring her home after school at 3:15. I have a lot of work to do that doesn't really require I physically be in the office. I figured I could pack up some files, pick her up so she could get her homework done early and then screw off the rest of the day.
Monday she has Kumon.
Tuesday she has Clown Troupe.
Wednesday she has track practice.
Thursday they had a movie at Kidzclub she wanted to see.
Friday she wanted to go to the BestFriend's house.
Pretty much every week is like that for her. She's usually home by 5:00 or so but that's still a long day for a little kid.
At least we don't have soccer (two practices a week and two games a weekend) or basketball (two practices a week but only one game a weekend) anymore.
Tomorrow we're having the kids pictures made in their Easter finery. We'd never really done that. The GirlChild was in MDO from the time she was small and they always had pictures done a couple of times a year. School is the same way. We have pictures I've taken of the BoyChild. Damned nice ones if I do say so myself. But then we had pictures taken at Church last fall that were fabulous. The one of the children was so great it made me want to cry. So we are going to try it again.
Sunday we are suppose to go to Baba and GrandMa's for Easter. It is also DogDoc's Birthday but it doesn't look like she is going to be able to join us. First she had company coming and now she's hurt her back. I told her to let us know if there was anything we could do.
I guess I'd better head off to bed. I've got a big weekend rapidly bearing down upon me.
Ciao,
M&Co.
#73
We went shopping tonight.
Actually we went to Sylvan to visit with the director. After report cards came out last time, the GirlChild had me make several copies. She's not done much with them but recently told the Husband and me, at different times, that she wanted to go back to Sylvan this summer. Since she begged and pleaded and made deals to NOT go to Sylvan, I kind of quizzed her about it.
Me: How come?
GC: Because.
Me: Because why? It seems like a lot of our conversations start this way
GC: Cause I want to tell Miss Mary the Director at Sylvan how much better I'm doing.
Me: What do you mean?
GC: Well, school's not as hard. Pause. Homework doesn't take as long as it use to. Long pause. I do most of it on my own now. Long pause.
Me: Well I'm sure Miss Mary would be glad to hear from you and know how well you are doing even if you don't go back to Sylvan this summer.
GC: Really?
Me: Yes. I'll call and see when would be a good time for us to stop by to see her for a few minutes.
I finally remembered to call Miss Mary this week and we talked about it and picked tonight for us to come by.
I don't know what they talked about. The GirlChild went into her office, "no Dad, you don't need to come with me." After abotu 15 minutes, she left with a cute big beanie baby bear, "it cost 125 tokens, Mom." Tokens are Sylvan motivation currency, the GirlChild could get about 10-15 an evening when she was there for her work. She also got a nice little "you did good sign!"
When we left the GirlChild wanted to buy an Easter dress. Since this was something that had been on my agenda but I couldn't get the GirlChild excited about, I seized her good mood and we did. It's a pretty little yellow linen like dress with tulle over it and ribbon at the bottom.
We got the BoyChild a pair of navy blue shorts, a yellow tee shirt with aligator on the front and blue hawaiian flower shirt with a matching hat. He is so cute!
The GirlChild and I got matching sandles. Hers are white to go with her dress. Mine are black because white just wasn't me. They are comfy little shoes though I was a little disturbed hers were almost as expensive as mine.
I think she may actually be over some hump. She doesn't require as much help with her homework as she use to. She doesn't seem to have as much (I think because she's getting it done in a timely fashion at school) to do at night. She's been making her own flash cards to study for her science and social studies with little or no input from us. She's finally figured out that the little assignments they do in class are what needs to be on the flash cards and saves the sheets so she doesn't have to look the information up again.
One of our goals was to have her doing her own flash cards by Spring Break and I think we met that. Every once in awhile now, she'll ask me to help her, but I think that's more seeking companionship than anything else; if I say "no" she can do it herself.
I sent my copies of her books back to school before Spring Break. That was ahead our schedule. I went ahead and sent them back to school because she'd gotten lazy about bringing her own books home. When they gave them to us, and the teacher and principal expressed concern that she learn to figure out what she needs to bring home and actually get home with it and not rely on having books home.
She seems to be doing well in math. The BestFriend was with us last weekend and she doesn't know her multiplication as well as the GirlChild. I pulled her aside and reminded her that the BestFriend had been really good about helping her with her reading when she needed it and she needed to help the BestFriend with her multiplication because she needs it now. The GirlChild was taking way too much pleasure in the BestFriend's inability to multiply.
A measure of peace has come to our home at last.
Man the time change is kicking my butt. I'm ready for bed at 10:00 p.m.
Peace,
M&Co.
#72
Man.Oh.Man.Oh.Man.Oh.Man.
I have been so not motivated. I think I have a bad case of Spring Fever.
This weekend was a waste. I took a nap on Saturday afternoon after having spent the morning laying on the sofa and talking to the BoyChild and reading.
Baba and GranMa stopped by about 5:00 when they returned from vacation(BoyChild withdrawal was hitting them hard) so I had to get up. The Husband and I took the GirlChild, the BestFriend and the BoyChild to eat Chinese. Then the PsychoSister and I took the GirlChild and the BestFriend to the Paint It Yourself Pottery place while the Husband and the BoyChild made an early evening of it.
Sunday we took the BoyChild to Baba and GranMa's about 3:00. The Husband and I took the GirlChild and the BestFriend to see Hidalgo. The movie is loosely based on Frank T. Hopkins and his 3,000-mile endurance ride across the Arabian Desert in 1890 on his mustang stallion, Hidalgo. Except for being about 15-20 minutes too long, it was a good flick. The girls were weeping at the end and I wasn't ready to open a vein so we were all happy.
You might laugh but until you've sat through ScoobyDoo, PowerPuff Girls, SpyKids 3-D you don't know how horrible kids movies can be.
Hidalgo was rated PG-13 for violence. My little angels are blood thirsty little things. During the fight scenes they were stricken when one of the good guys got killed and cheered when one of the bad guys got killed. The violence was Raiders of the Lost Ark sort of thing, lots of punches and swords but little actual blood and guts.
Except for Omar Sharif is it possible to have an Arab movie and not have Omar Sharif in it? most of the actors were vaguely familial but I couldn't really tell you who they were. I read somewhere Timothy Dalton one of those bastard James Bond's who was not Sean Connery was in it but that must have been when I took the girls to the bathroom cause I certainly don't remember it.
Pickins are pretty slim for kids movies. I've read that Westerns are making a come back but there have been few of those in recent memory. I don't think there are any G rated movies out right now. Most are PG-13 with the occasional PG thrown in. We didn't see any of the movies nominated for an Oscar this year. That's particularly bad for us. Usually we've seen one or two. Kids movies don't get nominated for Oscar's very often.
The GirlChild assures me the Lord of the Rings movies are good. She apparently watched one with DogDoc when she spent the night there recently. My nine year old is a more experience movie viewer than me!
You have to be careful with the PG and PG-13 ones. If there is too much sexual innuendo you are likely to have conversations you don't really want to have, "What's sperm, Mommy?" or the kids find it entertaining but you are ready to open a vein.
The Passion of the Christ is out now. I don't know whether the Husband and I will see it. I hate how trailer park it sounds, but honestly I don't want to read my movies; it strikes me too much like work. I'm also not into graphic violence, I don't care whether it is historically accurate. The GirlChild reports to me that some children in her class have seen it. While I don't doubt that is true, I can't imagine taking her to see a movie I've not seen and I can't honestly imagine letting her watch an R rated movie no matter what the subject matter.
Sadly the Husband and I don't get out much to see movies. Two full time jobs and two small children takes its toll. I'm also a little reluctant to spend $8.50 to see a movie unless I'm certain I'm going to like it. If we go to the trouble to find someone to keep the kids, spend money on tickets and actually go to the movie, and it's not any good, it irritates me. The best way to not be disappointed, is to rent them. Then, if they are bad, I'm only out $2.95.
Well it is late. I have another full day of trying to stay awake. Notlooking out the window and wish I were somewhere else besides in my office looking at my computer screen. And planning my flower garden in my head
Sweet dreams,
M&Co.
#71
The Husband is asleep.
The BoyChild is asleep.
The GirlChild is doing her Kumon and generally sucking up because she wants to go to the renewed BestFriend's house again this afternoon. Apparently the GirlChild, and the BFFEIS had a falling out over a boy. The Boy in question is a geeky looking little thing with, as far as I can tell, no social skills. He makes their little hearts go pitter-patter, however, and caused a rift between the BestFriendsForever. They have somehow overcome that little difficulty and are once again enjoying living in one another's back pocket. Once the GirlChild showers, studies her spelling words and for her science test, she is going to the BestFriend's house for the afternoon.
Not much is going on around here.
The MIL's funeral went o.k. It was kind of small, with the largest contingent being family, but there were more general mourners than I expected. The Husband's PsychoSister simmered down after her first initial outburst and there have been no open fights or skirmishes since. I'm not entirely clear how this will all play out. The PsychoSister has made it clear to the Husband that she feels entitled to whatever meager savings and assets the MIL had when she died. I don't think the Husband begrudges her the things, but he resents her sense of entitlement and her demanding attitude. I suspect no matter what the outcome we will see little of the Husband's PsychoSister or DepressedBrother in the future.
The Husband and the children had an uneventful Spring Break. They did the Zoo, the Park, the SuperTarget, slept in and generally vegged out. I took off from work at noon yesterday and about 4:00 on the day before. I got to spend a little quality time with the BoyChild but the GirlChild had already hooked up with the BestFriend. She surmised it was o.k. because we got to have lunch together almost everyday.
Sometimes I wonder what people who don't have children, or I guess really the school schedule, to rule their lives and set their vacation schedules, do. We tend to bounce from one event or activity to another and our times to look forward to, or dread as the case may be, are almost all school related. We go from school starting to fall break to Christmas break to spring break to easter break to summer vacation to school starting and the process begins all over. There's the random holiday in between but I mostly schedule my time off based upon the GirlChild's school schedule.
Spring has sprung here. We have had 70-80 degree weather and everything is beginning to bud out in that beautiful shade of new green that always makes me feel hopeful and lazy. I suspect we've got some more yucky, cold, wet weather awaiting us but it's been nice the last few days.
The PsychoSister has lost her job. Apparently cash flow problems and her general inability to go with the flow have taken their toll. As of April 1 she'll be on her own again. Her office was perpetually in chaos due to poor training and generally bad management techniques. She's talking about opening up her own office and doing the same kind of general practice she was doing where she is now; easy bankruptcy, light criminal work, a little PI. If she can draw the business, I think that will probably be a good idea for her.
I guess that's all for now. The GirlChild is almost ready to go to the BestFriend's house for the afternoon and I feel a nap calling me.
Ciao,
M&Co.
#70
Well.
>
The MIL died.
It's sad on several different levels.
She hadn't been well since....well since before the FIL died when the GirlChild was 3 so that's going on 7 years. We saw her at the funeral home today and she looked better than I remember her looking in a long time
She didn't drive so was very dependant on others, primarily the Husband's own PsychoSister.
She was often demanding in that really bad sort of way.
And the last year and a half or so she got mean. She was never mean to me, or to the Husband, but she would say terrible things to the Husband's PsychoSister and to a certain extent to the Husband's DepressedBrother which often made being with them terribly uncomfortable.
We never got very good responses to questions about her medical condition or the medications she was taking. The PsychoSister was defensive, not very articulate and made it clear she didn't want any of our meddling sorts of questions. I remember when the FIL was ill,we got some strange reports about his condition.
I tried to chalk it up to being uneducated and not understanding themselves and they didn't respond well to the questions because it just pointed out how little they understood.
The Husband felt singled out. Like they were intentionally keeping information from him. I'm sure there was an element of that involved too. Information is power. If they didn't call and tell him what was going on, we'd only learn of an emergency after it had occurred, then that gave his PsychoSister some kind of leg up on him.
It sort of reminded me of when we moved in together. The Husband (though he wasn't the Husband then) moved into my house and gave up his apartment and telephone. His Mother and Father found out when they tried to call him and his phone had been disconnected. His Mother called the DepressedBrother (who knew the Husband had moved in with me because he helped him move and spent the weekend with us when the Husband moved in) who suggested she call my house. Information is power.Family dynamics are so complicated.
It was really sad because I think the MIL was just one of those people who just felt like life had shit upon her. She had a lot of that "poor me" attitude about her. I wonder sometimes how the Husband turned out so well.
The MIL had been ill for awhile. I suspect the funeral tomorrow will not be particularly well attended. Most of her friends are already dead and she's been out of circulation for so long due to her illness. I doubt it will be as painfully small as when Grandmother died but chances are pretty good it will be mostly family in attendance.
The Husband and I have been married a long time, but I never knew his parents very well. He had a good relationship with them but there was an undercurrent of hostility there.
The only time I ever even came close to having an argument with them was when the GirlChild was about 4 or 5 months old. They kept her overnight for us and took her in the car without her being strapped in her car seat. I came unhinged at the seams. I think it may be the only time the GirlChild was in the car without being in her car seat or buckled up. The BoyChild has never been in the car without being strapped into his car seat. I think the thing that flabbergasted me the most about that situation was we spent a lot of time putting the car seat in the car, showing them how it worked, having them show us they knew how it worked. When I came unhinged they responded with the typical "we think you are overreacting" sort of responses; we raised three children and never used car seats, nothing happened so why are you so upset, that kind of stuff. Though they never took her in the car without being in her car seat again.
The funeral is tomorrow. Preparing for it did not have auspicious beginnings. The Husband's PsychoSister picked a fight with the Husband which ended when she said "we'll have this funeral when I want to and if it isn't convenient for you then you don't have to come." The Husband hung up on her, sent me to work and sent the GirlChild to school. The fight started because the Husband thought waiting until Monday was too long (she died Tuesday night/Wednesday morning) and the PsychoSister didn't want to have it on Friday because she didn't want her son to miss school. I didn't fully understand her rational but like many things with her I just shrugged my shoulders and asked the Husband what he wanted to do.
I've never really not gotten along with the PsychoSister though I have never been close to her. She is loud and obnoxious without many interests and we have little in common. She is mean to the Husband, which annoys me. Never mean enough to make me get in her face but just mean enough to be shitty and make him feel bad.
In the end, the Husband decided to let her do whatever she wanted to do. We went today to plan the funeral. Planning the funeral seems to have an almost ritual like quality among the Husband's family. Since they let the PsychoSister do what she wanted, I didn't fully understand why the Husband's presence was necessary, but the Husband wanted to be there, so we went. How it came about that we are having the funeral tomorrow, I don't know.
My family, the GirlChild, the BoyChild, the Husband and I have all had our hair cut.
The children have new clothes.
I worried about what to dress the children in. We bought the GirlChild a blue skirt, a light blue sweater and a pair of flowered tennis shoes with ribbons for the laces with a matching headband and socks from the Gap. It's a casual sort of outfit, or would be if I wore it, but she looks cute in it, she likes it and it is comfortable (the skirt has shorts sewn in so she doesn't have to worry about her panties showing).
For the BoyChild we have a pair of navy corduroy pants, a new polo shirt and a new sweat shirt in case it is cold. Not high fashion but he's not yet two and I can't see buying him anything more formal. Since he has fat little feet, which require extra-extra wide shoes which cost more than my shoes, he only has one pair of tennis shoes and we didn't buy anything else for him. My plan is for him to stay in the nursery with the GranMa during the funeral anyway so he won't technically even be there.
The children are already exhausted. The BoyChild has cried out several times since going down about 8:30 tonight. I fear by tomorrow night they will both be a mess.
Saturday the GirlChild is suppose to be a clown in the St. Patrick's day parade. I'm glad they didn't set the funeral for Saturday so the GirlChild didn't have to chose between going to the funeral and taking part in the parade. When they talked about setting it for Saturday, I decided I would support her in whatever she wanted to do and wouldn't make her go to the funeral if she didn't want to. I think the Husband would have understood but I suspect there would have been criticism on many fronts if it had come to that.
Next week is spring break for the GirlChild and the Husband. I intended to take some time off work while they were out of school. I suppose if I work hard this weekend and the first of next week I can still afford to take a day or two off with them but not as much time as I would have liked. Such is life I suppose.
I just keep wondering, "are we having fun yet?"
Peace,
M&Co.
#69
We got a call tonight from the Husband's PsychoSister. Nana is not expected to live and has been moved into the "bereavement room."
Oh Dear.
#68
We've got the crud again.
This time it's the stomach virus going around. The boy child has had the diarrhea and the vomiting and the general listlessness which seems to go with that. I called the BabyDoc yesterday and they said give him lots of fluids, pedialite and clear broths, when he stops vomiting give him crackers and toast to see how that goes. They said it lasts from between 3 and 10 days. Great.
The Husband and I have the nausea but not the vomiting. I don't have the diarrhea but I can't speak for him. Stuff like this never hits when we can just be sick. Today I have 11 hearings scheduled for my preference claims. The Husband has Parent-Teacher conferences again (I know, they seem too do that an awful lot) tonight and the GirlChild's school has the spaghetti dinner and the book fair. The GirlChild has, thus far, been spared this nasty virus. I'm hoping she will continue to remain well.
And to add insult to injury, there was a terrible storm early this morning and both the kids were up at one time or another. I went in to calm the BoyChild and the Husband went in to calm the GirlChild. It looks like spring is roaring in like a wet lion.
I had a kind of disturbing conversation with the GirlChild yesterday. I don't remember exactly how we arrived at this point but she said, "so, is that why, the BoyChild's BirthMother gave him away, because she didn't want him?" I've done a lot of reading on adoption issues. I know that adopted children grieve for the parents who "gave them away." I know adopted children have issues biological children don't have. But I was a little stunned.
I was brushing her hair and continued to do so. I said the BoyChild's mother let us adopt him because she was at a time and place in her life where she couldn't physically or emotionally take care of another child. It wasn't what she wanted to do but it was what she felt like she had to do for him, for her and for her other two children. I said she knew if she didn't that she wouldn't be able to successfully raise him and her other two children and so she made a plan for him.
The BoyChild's birthmother sent pictures when we finalized the adoption. The GirlChild mused as how she wished she had some pictures of her birthmother; I agreed that would be lovely.
I inquired if that's what she thought, that her mother let us adopt her because she didn't want her. She replied, "it feels like that sometimes." I asked her to let me know when she felt that way and we could talk about it if she wanted to.
We moved on. We talked about the newest boyfriend and the upcoming book fair. I hope I handled the situation right but I guess I'll never know.
Peace,
M&C0.
The Trucks in my Life
My life is over run with trucks. I have dump trucks, school buses, tractors, cement trucks, a phone made to look like a truck, a circus train set of trucks and various and assorted sizes of trucks. In my room I can count six and that's without looking under the sofa.
What is it about the BoyChild and his trucks?
He sleeps with them. Tonight when we put him to bed, he took three with him. I removed a book with wheels about various types of tractors and a small truck but he got three in there. Last night I went to check on him before I went to sleep, he was on his back, arms and legs spread out with his hand on a small dump truck. It was, if I do say so myself, too cute.
He's got the odd stuffed animal. He'll hug it and kiss it and then offer it to me to kiss. I don't mean to be a bad mommy, but there really isn't much worse than a snotty nosed kid having gnawed on the nose of a stuffed animal and then offering it to you to kiss. But he doesn't really play with them much. He's all into his trucks.
This morning when I got him dressed, I put him in a pair of gray nylon basketball pants (the kind with the zipper at the end of the legs). I picked a white tee shirt with blue and red stripes on it; it had been a oneies but we cut the snaps off and GranMa turned it into a tee shirt. He looked a little.....odd.
I was reminded of when the GirlChild was about his age. She had tights that matched skirts that matched Capri pants that matched tops that matched socks that matched shoes. She was always a well coiffed child. The Husband thought how he dressed her reflected upon him and consequently she always looked wonderful. That she was a beautiful child with the brightest eyes and lovely smile didn't hurt either.
The BoyChild has an impish smile and is turning into such a little boy. He's losing his baby features. I look at some of his baby pictures and wonder where that baby went. I think at the time we were just too exhausted to absorb it all.
Today was a rough day. I Spent 8 hours working on closing papers for the sale of a company. I'd been working on it off and on for awhile but the seller was being problematic. The client called today and said, "it's now or never, if we don't get it done today, it's over." So the EvilGenius and I spent all day making it happen. I finally shut it down and wondered home about 6:45. Another banner billing day!
I don't feel as discouraged about my job as much this week as I did last. WWW is still being a pain in the ass, doing exactly what she wants to, when she wants to, but I got my 20 joint status conference reports done and to the judge. Now I'm trying to figure out which of these cases I can actually settle and which ones I will need to actually try.
Lent started on Wednesday. We should have decided what we were going to do for Lent before hand but are still negotiating. I should give up cigarettes all together and I'm still pondering that. I've been smoking 4-5 a day since the BoyChild was born and even though it's not many, and I'm not sure how much I actually need them, I can't seem to give those last few up. As a family we are going to give up TV or soft drinks. The GirlChild and the Husband are advocating the soft drinks but sometimes you just gotta have, and there are certain things you can't eat without a Pepsi!
The GirlChild has decided she will stop being mean to the BoyChild. I suppose if it gets her to be nice to him I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.
I've turned into such an old lady. It's 10:30 and I'm ready for bed.
Ciao,
M&Co.
More on the Memos - 2-20-2004
I am terribly, totally and completely discouraged today.
I don't think I ever followed up with you about the Memos from Work chronicle.
As you may recall we all turned in the requested memos. I didn't see all of them, but I understand several were strikingly similar with the same complaints coming from different attorneys.
Then things got testy with the staff. They were, if it's possible, more apathetic and just openly hostile.
And then my secretary, we'll call her the Wicked Witch of the West, stood in my office and told me what she was and wasn't going to do. I was being unreasonable and she just wasn't going to do it.
We'd been having minor skirmishes over simple stuff. When you get an Answer, change the calendar so it doesn't show up as being due when we have in fact received it. Put a note in the case management software when we receive something so if someone says they are sending something, I'll know whether that happened. When someone calls, I want her to figure out whether they really need to talk to me or whether she can help them. When she does something, put it in the case management software so I don't have to find her and ask her if she did something, I can just look.
And then with this martyred tone of voice she said, "I know the lawyers think that the support staff doesn't do anything, but we are all working as hard as we can possibly work." She babbled on about The EvilGenius (he complains openly about them and they don't like him) and then she said "and if we laugh and visit and socialize sometimes it's just to help relieve the pressure we are under."
And then it dawned on me: Someone has given our memos to the staff. I think I wrote: "Too much laughing, visiting and socializing goes on."
Sure enough, others were getting the same kinds of comments. Things they'd said in the memos were being repeated back to them.
Actually I shouldn't be surprised. Our "office manager," I'll call him the IdiotSon, that's really his sort of management style. Let them see the complaints and then they can deal with it however they want to.
We rocked along for a few days with snide comments and almost open warfare going on between the support staff and the lawyers. I went to the TrusteePartner who requested the memos and said "I think they've been given to the staff and this is why I think that, and I don't understand how or why it happened."
An investigation was begun. Pointed questions were asked. I'm being sarcastic here. The staff didn't know anything about our memos and they don't know why we would think that they did.
But they quit quoting it back to us and things appear to have settled down.
I learned this week that one of the secretaries has turned in her notice. Everyone is.So.Very.Upset we can barely contain ourselves. I'm being sarcastic here again.
So back to my story. The WWW and I are in my office and she's telling me what she is, and isn't, going to do for me. And I'm thinking, "I'm screwed." No one here is going to make her do the work. There will be no consequences if she doesn't. If I blow a deadline, well that will be my fault not hers.
So I decided I basically had two options. I could figure out how to make the situation work for me, or I could go work somewhere else.
I decided "I can make it work." I love the adversary work I'm doing; it's the most fun I've had in a long time. It's really only a few of the support staff who are total pains in the ass, unfortunately I'm being forced to deal with the biggest pain in the ass. And for the most part I like most of the lawyers I have to work with most of the time.
I have my own printer at my desk (which I bought, I might add) and the Husband and I were talking about buying me a cheap scanner. With a minimum of assistance, I could make this work and retain my sanity.
So the next week the WWW is standing in my door when a call comes in. It's a lawyer who wants information. Everyone has been asking for information which they could get from this document. I'd asked the WWW about 10 days before to scan it for me so I could just e-mail it to those who wanted it and I wouldn't need to even talk to them. Talking to people takes a lot of time; e-mail only takes a moment. And she starts yelling at me. She hasn't done it because she hasn't had time. She doesn't know why I'm "starting" with her again. I said "do you want me to scan it, I can do that" and she stalks off. And the next thing I know she is crying. And she goes into the Senior Partner's (who just happens to be her Uncle) office and cries some more. I don't really know what happened in there. There was a small Partners meeting with her and some of the Partners. No one ever talked to me about the incident. The EvilGenius reported the result of the meeting was that she was going to do what I needed her to do and what I'd asked her to do; but surprise, surprise, she hasn't.
So last weekend a bunch of checks (and by a bunch I mean more than 500 but probably less than 5000) for this adversary came in from Colorado. I had them delivered to my house and spent part of my weekend going through this huge box of checks and assorted random pieces of paper. I'm the ultimate romantic you know: Happy Valentine's Day! I didn't go into the office on Monday because it was a holiday. I sorted checks. I entered them into a spread sheet. I put them in alphabetical order. I asked the WWW to put them into the files. When I left tonight they were still sitting on her desk.
While I was sorting checks and creating the spread sheet, I should have been creating Joint Status Conference Reports but I needed the information from the checks to put into the Joint Status Conference Reports and I knew the WWW wouldn't do it in any kind of timely fashion.
I have 20 JSCR due next Tuesday. I began working on them Wednesday.
The WWW has some type of family crisis. You know, I don't doubt it's a crisis, but she always has a crisis. I think she cried every day for the first 12 months I worked here because of one crisis or another. So she spends all day on the telephone talking to various friends and relatives about this particular catastrophe.
On Thursday she doesn't come in at all; someone had to take her Father to the VA Hospital and of all the brothers and sisters and assorted family she is the only one who could do it. Let's not think, or talk about the fact that she took Thursday, Friday and Monday off and hasn't done jack for me since she's been back. So I asked one of the other secretaries to help me prepare and get the Joint Status Conference Reports out.
This Secretary is a Nice Girl. Not particularly bright but pleasant. She's works hard but her work is sloppy. I can live with that if she'll Do.What.I.Ask. and not give me any grief.
She and I worked all day and got the JSCR to the lawyers on the other side for their input. I asked her today to call the lawyers and make sure they got the JSCR and to help me with the changes that were coming in. The WWW said, "oh don't give that to the NiceGirl, I'll help you now." I balked. We were right in the middle of this project and I didn't want to have to explain it to the WWW again. This will come as a complete and total surprise to you but I just didn't want to have to deal with the bitch. O.K. NiceGirl could finish this project up. It was actually a lucky break for me. The WWW had another situation of some type after lunch and appeared to spend most of the afternoon crying and being generally worthless.
So the NiceGirl and I have gotten into a groove. The changes come in, I review them, o.k. some, argue with the other side about others and then give them to the NiceGirl to make. She makes the changes and returns it to me. I review it and then e-mail it on to the lawyer on the other side so the process can begin again. This is how it's suppose to work. I can bill a minimum to the client but still get the work done. The secretary does what she's been hired to do, which is help me.
Then she says "I have to leave to go on the Courthouse run in about 15 minutes."
This is not her job. This is the job of the receptionist. The receptionist is off today.
In most offices I think the Courthouse run is done by the person who does the filing. However we have WWW's geriatric mother doing the filing in our office (if I have something I need, and can't easily replace, I NEVER send it to the file because there's a better than even chance I will never see it again).
The receptionist must have pictures of someone naked with little children because she is off work more than any other person I've ever seen. She was off today. So they had to find someone to go on the run and someone to answer the phone. Of course the IdiotSon of an Office Manager couldn't be bothered to do any of that.
At one point when she was trying to convince me that she was just a hard working regular employee the WWW complained to me that she couldn't get my work done because she had to spend so much time answering the phone because the receptionist was gone so much. I complained and got her off phone duty (which is total b.s. because no one is going to make her do anything she doesn't want to do) and yet she still manages to not get my work done.
So I complained and they sent someone else on the run.
In the course of working on these adversaries, I have learned one of the lawyers who has made an appearance in one of the cases has been suspended by the Bar Association. They call that Practicing Law while suspended. With a suspended lawyer, it's really bad because they have to show that they have NOT been practicing while suspended to be reinstated.
It.Made.Me.Sick.
The Rules of Professional Conduct put an affirmative duty on me to notify the Bar. I assume I have the same affirmative duty to notify the Court. Our Bar Association has an Ethics Counselor who takes call, answers questions and gives advice on situations like these; she's not part of the bar counsel's office, and the RPC give her special consideration, so she doesn't have to report any bad stuff she learns from talking to people like me.
I called and talked to her. She confirms the lawyer has been suspended; apparently he's been suspended for a long time. She agrees I have an affirmative duty to inform the Bar, but thinks it less clear about my duty to inform the Court.
I hate it when people don't do what they are suppose to do and then I have to do something I don't want to do.
I talked to the TrusteePartner. I mostly talked to him so he would be aware we had a problem. He decided we should call the guy (the TrusteePartner acts afraid to do anything on his own accord and loves to have conference calls and burn up two or three lawyer's time at once) and we asked him about it; it was just a "misunderstanding" he was having with the Bar and he's gotten it taken care of. I told him I'd talked to the bar just shortly before calling him and they don't think it's been taken care of. He doesn't know why this is but assures me he will send his BIL to appear until he gets it taken care of.
I still have a duty to notify the Bar and I can't appear with him in Court knowing this and not tell the Judge.
I whined about it at lunch. The EvilGenius and the LawyerFromNextDoor and I talked about how to do it, none of us ever having had the unpleasant task of reporting a fellow lawyer to the Bar. The consensus seemed to be: keep it short and to the point.
So I write a short simple letter.
Dear Bar Counsel,
Pursuant to the requirements imposed upon me by the Rules of Professional Conduct 8.3, it has come to my attention that SuspendedLawyer is practicing law while the Bar's web page reflects his license as being suspended. I brought this to SuspendedLawyer's attention and he assured me it is a misunderstanding. Nonetheless, I think the rules require I notify you. I am also bound to notify the Court, which I am doing by copy of this letter to Judge "X."
If you have any questions, please call.
All the News that's Fit to Read
John Kerry is the front runner for the Democrats. He's getting cocky.
He's got the Democrats on the run and seems to have GeorgeW on the run about his National Guard service. Or maybe it's the lack thereof he's got him on the run about.
The part I love about it is GeorgeW is saying "I don't know why no one remembers serving in the National Guard with me. I was there, I swear. See I got paid."
Give me a break George. Someone like you becomes famous and suddenly the guy who lived down the hall from you in college that you never spoke to is bragging that he was your best buddy but no one can remember serving in the National Guard with you?
The chairman of the Democratic Committee is point that out loud and long.
And John Kerry? He's taking the high road. I heard him say last night, "I don't want to talk about that issue. I just want to talk about what I did." And John Kerry's military record is pretty impressive.
Gotta love it.
I'm gonna have to stop getting my news off of Yahoo.Com.
I read recently that a woman in France married her dead boyfriend. They call it "posthumous marriage." Charles de Gaulle put the law in place. Makes you wonder what he was thinking.
And everyone here is all up in arms over allowing gays to marry.
And finally, I read that 24% of people surveyed say they use their work computers to view internet porn or to pursue romantic relationships.
That's almost 1 out of every 4 people surveyed! There are five lawyers on my side of the office. It made me wonder which ones of them are looking at internet porn and/or pursuing romantic relationships on the internet because it sure ain't me.
I don't even have time to check my e-mail much less pursue a romantic relationship.
Those people in that survey have way too much time on their hands.
Ciao,
M&Co.
Living with the Dead
I read a story recently on Yahoo.Com that says a man called the police to report the "sudden and unexpected" death of his brother.
I tried to find this so I could show you I wasn't just making crap up but I couldn't find the story.
It seems this guy was living with his brother in a mobile home for the last eighteen months (a year and a half!) and only recently realized his brother was dead.
It said they performed tests on the dead brother to determine how long he'd been dead; that makes me shudder to think about.
Now, I know I'm an unobservant sort of person.
I think the new Jaguar looks sort of like a Madza.
Stuff will go in my refrigerator and when it comes out I have to ask myself, "Did it go in as soup?"
But you know, I think if I hadn't seen someone I lived with for, oh let's say six weeks, I think I'd have knocked on the door to see what was up.
Or even evidence of them. When O-matic and I shared an apartment, or when he lived in my house, I would go for days sometimes and not see him. But I knew he was around. His truck would be in a different spot when I left in the morning than it had been the day before. Dishes would be stacked in the dish rack that hadn't been there when I went to bed the night before. The shower would be running when I came home but no one would be there by the time I changed my clothes and made my way back downstairs.
But to live in the same house with someone for 18 months and not realize they are dead!?! What's going on with that.
I guess the next time something slips up on me and I want to chide myself for not being more observant, someone has a baby that I didn't realize was pregnant, someone has a new spouse when I didn't realized they'd gotten rid of the old one, at least I can say, "well at least I'm not living with the dead."
Ciao,
M&Co
Illness Abounds, 02/04/2004
I've not written in awhile. I don't even remember where I was when I last wrote.
It is cold and yucky here. It's been that way for awhile. They've predicted "the big one" all week. Tonight I finally decided it looked yucky enough out there to pack up some files and my laptop to bring home in case I get snowed in with the kids and/or the husband tomorrow. I just watched the news and it doesn't look very likely. I imagine it'll be slippery in the morning but not world stopping.
We took the BoyChild to the ER again this week. He'd been fine. A little runny nose but he wasn't cranky, wasn't running a fever, was eating good and didn't act the least bit under the weather.
He went to bed like normal between 8:30 and 9:00 with the Husband and I following about 10:00. About 11:30 (there's something about being awakened from a deep sleep by your moaning child that's truly distrubing) he woke us up with his moaning. He wasn't crying or coughing but moaning. And we went in to check on him and he was wheezing. Big, pained wheezing sounds with every breath. It sounded like he was actually struggling to breath. My throat closed up, my heart started to pound and for an instant I wanted to barf. I had images of him not being able to breath and me not being able to do anything for him. It was scary.
We thought maybe he was just upset but after he got fully awake and obviously wasn't upset the wheezing continued.
We debated the options. Take the GirlChild to Baba and GranMa's and both of us take him to the ER. The Husband take him and I stay home with the GirlChild. I take him and the Husband stay home with the GirlChild. Finally we settled upon I take him to the ER and the Husband stay home with the GirlChild; I would call if I needed him and he could take the GirlChild to Baba and GranMa's or bring her if a problem arose.
The BoyChild and I had been spending a lot of time alone together the last week or so.
Thursday night the Husband's school had Parent Teacher Conferences. The Husband took the GirlChild with him. Hey he doesn't have any students,he's the In-House Suspension guy, so there weren't a lot of demanding parents wanting his time. The GirlChild enjoys the time at the Husband's school. She gets lots of attention, not just from the Husband but the other teachers like her as well. So the BoyChild and I spent all evening together alone, playing and watching TV and reading.
Friday night the Husband and the GirlChild and the BFFEIS went to the hockey game after the Baba hurt the GirlChild's feelings. She came home from school all excited by three tickets to OU's hockey game. I didn't even know OU had a hockey team but apparently they do.
She told me that Baba would love it. It was OU after all and she was going to call him and she and Baba and Daddy were going to go. So she calls. And when she said "so you wanna go with me?" instead of saying "gee, honey, I wish I could but I have to bath the cat tonight" he said "no." That's all. Nothing to soften it. Nothing to make her think he appreciated her thinking of him. Just "no."
I was sitting here watching her and it was painful to me. Her whole body language changed. When she called she was sitting up tall and kind of wiggling. But when he said "no," she sagged like she'd been hit. Her tone of voice changed and she said "o.k." and hung up the phone. And she promptly burst into tears. Man talk about wanting to punch someone.
So I sent the GirlChild downstairs with the promise of a Pepsi and 30 minutes of television. And I called the Baba and chewed on his ass. He said "I'm tired." I said so you couldn't say "Gee, I'd love to go, honey, but I'm tired tonight. Maybe another time." So he said "Why don't you go instead and I'll watch the BoyChild?" "Because JERK I didn't actually say that she wants YOUR attention, she wanted you to go, because it's OU and she just knew you'd want to go see OU play."
The really sad part is I really don't think he gets it. The GirlChild is alwasy looking for something she and Baba can do together. She wants to do things with him. She wants his attention and tries hard to figure out what they can do that he would like. Since the BoyChild was born she's become aware that the Baba really likes the BoyChild and I think feels slighted that he doesn't seem to like her as much. Some day in the not to distant future she's not going to be interested in him or what he wants and he's not going to understand.
So Friday night, except for being pissed at the Baba, the BoyChild and I spent another pleasant night playing with trucks, and reading and generally having a good time.
Saturday night was the fundraiser at the GirlChild's school. I felt bad (I had the croup before the BoyChild) and decided to stay home. The Husband went because we were committed and the GirlChild went because all her friends were going to be in ChildCare. So the boychild and I ate chicken and rice soup and played and read and had a generally good time.
Monday night the GirlChild had basketball. I came home early, well early for me, and stayed with the BoyChild while the Husband and the GirlChild went to Basketball practice.
And Monday night he got sick.
We had the same uninspiring doctor as the last time. He listened to his chest and said "how long has he been sick again?" and listened to his chest some more. Took some chest x-rays. Gave him a shot in the leg (I think that's when the BoyChild decided the ER was no longer a fun place). Gave him some sort of breathing treatment. We got home about about 3:00.
We took him to the KidDoc the next day. He said the shot would make the symptoms go away quicker and I think generally tried to make the Husband not feel bad for rushing him to the hospital for croup. The BoyChild has that awful barking cough now. He doesn't act like he feels bad. I think he kind of likes the resulting horseness because it makes him sound different. We've got him sleeping under a humidifier and that seems to help. If we could just get one big enough for our whole house.
The GirlChild has remained well through this bout of disease in my house. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she won't get it next.
Peace,
M&Co.
Some Truths
Is it possible for your head to actually explode
Man! You ever had one of those day? One of those days were all kinds of things go wrong? One of those days where you think your head is actually going to explode? I could imagine it. I could see bits of my skull and my brains exploding all over my office and my really kewl new computer and all those files on my desk. I could actually see it. And it wasn't yet noon.
The situation at my office continues to worsen. The apathy among the staff, particularly my secretary, seems to have degenerated.
In some respects I feel like I've created a monster. All of thes associates are pissed off and getting quite open about it. One of the associate lawyers decided to take the high road. He said in his memo "we need to have more meetings" (gawd what a thought!) and "we need more training." He otherwise talked about himself and what he wanted to do and his work.
At lunch and when I'm about to go crazy because something I asked two weeks ago to be done still.hasn't.been.done.he's the first to join me in my litany of complaints. His take on the situation is "it won't ever be different so I'm not going to bother telling them what they already know but obviously don't care about." I guess I can respect that.
I feel a little differently. I can't know that they know and don't care unless I actually tell them. If, after sharing my experiences with them, they still don't care, then I guess I'll have some choices to make.
I didn't want to be out on a limb all by my lonesome. So I began to talk to two others I know are painfully unhappy with the support staff situation. I think I got them when I told them that one of the partners described our support staff as "stellar." And he actually did, I didn't have to make that up. I saw one of the memos one of the other associates did. His makes mine sound almost mild. I didn't see the other one, but she told me she named names and didn't hold any punches.
I named names in my memo. I gave specific examples of where it's falling apart at the seams. I gave suggestions where I thought it should be improved.
I guess we'll see if anything will actually come of it. If I don't get some help soon, I think my head may actually explode and that would be an ugly thing.
Be Safe,
M&Co.
On Being an Asshole, 01/20/2004
What is it about people, that makes them think that the way to get what they want from someone is to be an asshole?
Today I was insulted by some Englishman using a term that I'm not sure I even understand. I think he kept saying, "what kind of a cobblehead did that?" And my response was, "that would be me."
I've been working on these preference claims. It's not a law I made up. It's not my plan or scheme to screw these people over. While I enjoy the litigation aspect of my job, I understand the unfairness of the situation and try to treat everyone with respect.
But it is my job. It is what Congress intended when they passed the bankruptcy statutes. I've not gone off on some tangent without anything to back it up.
Case in point. One of my cases is for a $15,000 claim. The lawyer called, early on, and offered me $1000 to settle. I told him I needed some concrete reasons why I should do that. He gave me some b.s. reasons (I'm not sure the lawyer I've been talking to practices bankruptcy law because his grasp of the concepts seems weak) and seemed insulted when I wasn't carried away by them. Then he cried poverty. Now I'm a reasonable person, if they really are going to go out of business if they have to pay, I will listen to reason. So I said, "get me some financial information to back that claim up and maybe we can talk;" of course, his client doesn't want to do that. So then the lawyer (or he says his client but I don't know that I believe him) sic'ed a reporter on me who wrote a shitty little article about this bankruptcy and these claims. So then he calls again to rehash his b.s. theories. I asked for authority to support those theories. There are companies that make millions of dollars a year collecting and indexing and selling copies of every opinion ever issued. Of course, there isn't any Court who has agreed with this guy. He tells me everyone he talks to agrees he is right, but no courts have agreed with him. And last week I learned he, or his client back to this not believing him thing, called the Bank's attorney to complain to them how he was being mistreated. And he calls again today to ask for another extension of time to answer. And he wants me to file the paperwork. And he tells me that this claim won't make a bit of difference to the estate. And he tells me he knows I've been making all these sweetheart deals with all these other defendants. When I asked who he thought I'd made a sweetheart deal with he couldn't come up with any names. And everytime he calls he insults me though his are more subtle than my cobblehead friend.
And then this other guy calls today. I sued him. I didn't get an answer. I wrote to tell him I was going to take default judgment if he didn't file an answer. He told me he'd been throwing away all the mail he'd gotten on this case. I think I sent one other letter so I'm not sure what bags of mail he'd been throwing away unopened. I was doing this guy a favor. I could have taken default judgment and let him try to unravel it when I hired someone to collect the judgment. Instead of being greatful, or pleasant, or kind, he called me a cobblehead. He couldn't believe this was happening. He couldn't believe that the company owed him money and he was now getting sued. He thought this was another reason to leave this country (he was from the United Kingdom but I couldn't tell from the accent exactly where); I surpressed the urge to tell him it wouldn't hurt my feelings if he did go. He complained about corporate America. And he kept calling me a cobblehead.
I got to work at 8:30 this morning. I sat my butt down and only got up once to get coffee and go to the bathroom until I left for lunch. I came back from lunch and sat in my butt back in my chair and worked all afternoon. I prepared pleadings, looked at copies of checks and check registers until I thought I'd go blind and talked to these jerks on the telephone.
None of this has made me change my position. I'm not going to cut the first jerk a super good deal. If anything, it has illustrated to me how important it is to be able to support the decisions we've made on all these cases. I've not done anything for any of them that I wouldn't do for any of the others. I try to treat everyone with respect and kindness.
These couple of assholes today have made me wonder if I don't have the wrong idea.
Peace,
M&Co.
Baba as Sponge Bob?, 01/18/2004
The GirlChild has a Sponge Bob Square Pants clock.
The BoyChild has decided it's Baba. He would walk up to it and point to Sponge Bob and say "Baba! Baba" and touch Sponge Bob on the head.
I swear!
I laughed and laughed and almost peed my pants.
And the GirlChild said "BoyChild, don't tell GranMa, it'll hurt her feelings."
And when GranMa showed up the next time, the BoyChild just looked at the Sponge Bob Square Pants clock like he'd never seen it before.
While I don't know Baba's position on being Sponge Bob, I can think of a lot of kids who would think he's been elevated to a higher status.
Ciao,
M&Co.
