11-7-2003 - My Day So Far

Man I've had a horrible day. It's not even 9:00 a.m. yet.

It started to deteriorate last night and turned into full blown horrible this morning.

Yes, it's the GirlChild again.

They had the kickoff of the book fair at school last night. It's a fund raiser for the school. They had pizza, pop, door prizes and age appropriate books for the children to buy. I intended to work while the DearHusband, BoyChild and GirlChild went; I don't much like pizza and I've had a busy week. They called. The GirlChild wanted me to come and was disappointed that I couldn't. We agreed I would go with them.

I got there about 6:15. It was fun. I talked to some of the other parents, the class with the most parents in attendance got some kind of prize, I looked at books with the GirlChild, I chased the BoyChild through the crowds while he flirted with the hordes.

When we got home the GirlChild announced she didn't have to do her homework because she went to the book fair. She didn't articulate it that clearly but that's what I discerned from her statements and my quizzing.

I asked whether she was ready for her spelling test. She didn't need to study for it. I suggested we take a test over it. She didn't want to but eventually agreed. She missed eight out of the thirty words. She decided she would write the words 10 times each to learn them.

I found in her backpack the syllabus the teacher is suppose to send home on Monday for us. It showed a Social Studies test next Wednesday. The night before that we'd had a disagreement about whether there was another Social Studies test scheduled and whether she needed to work on making flash cards to study. I didn't know what I was talking about when I told her she had another test coming up and she didn't need to study.

Last night we looked at the syllabus. Sure enough, it said a test was scheduled for next week. We looked at what day it was; the 6th. We looked at when the test was; the 12th. Well maybe she did need to do her flash cards and begin preparing for the test.

She would do the first unit. It is 2 pages, had four vocabulary words and we found two test type questions. She would write the words and I was going to write the definitions. We're working on making it her responsibility, remember. She did about half of them and then copped an attitude. She didn't want to do her part, find the definitions, write the answer to the questions I'd written. O.K. go take shower and go to bed.

Once she starts with her attitude, it usually gets worse before it gets better. She couldn't turn the shower on and wanted me to do it. She didn't take her towel into the bathroom and wanted me to get it.

And then it peaked. She was stupid and I wanted her to be smart. I don't know why I enter into these arguments with her. I asked her why she thought that. Well everyone else can do times 7 but her. I told her I knew that wasn't true because I talked to the other parents. I told her if she wanted to learn how to multiply there were lots of options available to her but she would have to work at it. Of course that wasn't what she wanted to hear. She ended up going to her room with the admonition that she could rejoin the rest of the family when she could be civil.

This morning it started out o.k. but turned rocky quickly. She was not going to get dressed. She did not want to go to school. She did not want to study anymore. She did not want to be polite.

I left her alone, I got dressed and I stewed while I tried to decide what to do. I really needed to go to work today. I called the DearHusband to sound him out about the options. He didn't have a lot constructive to offer but said he was sorry. A few minutes later he called and talked to the GirlChild. I don't know the substance of that conversation but I think it involved "staying away from school isn't going to make school any easier."

The GranMa arrived. She and I talked and I decided my options were (1) leave her in her room alone all day or (2) make her get dressed in the car on the way to school.

I chose the second option.

She was an only child for a long time. She doesn't mind being alone. I don't know that she would see being in her room all by herself all day a big downer.

On the other hand if she had to go out to the car in her tee shirt, get dressed in the car and perhaps get dumped off without some article of clothing on she might be more motivated to get dressed to go to school in the future.

First she got angry, then she got weepy and then she got whiney. She couldn't get dressed in the car. She didn't have her backpack packed. It was too cold for her to go out to the car without being dressed. I was mean. She tried to talk to me but I wouldn't let her. I didn't understand her. Wouldn't I please go in with her?

And then she pulled out her trump card: I'm sick. I asked what was wrong and she said her stomach hurt. I told her that whenever we had these fights it made my stomach hurt too but she still had to go to school.

I thought I was going to have to pull her out of the car.

It was horrible.

She had big tears in her eyes.

My stomach hurts too.

And so my day begins.

Peace,

M&Co.

12-5-2003