This Week, 08/30/2003

The GirlChild has gone to spend the night with a friend.

She made a 103 (there were three bonus words she got right) on her spelling test today and was very proud of herself.

She didn't get any of her cards pulled. This is different than "getting your ticket punched" though it has some of the same rhythm when you say it fast. Pulling your card is some type of visual discipline thing they have at school. I call the GirlChild after school every afternoon to see how her day went and the status of her cards is usually the first thing she tells me.

If the card in your slot is green, everything is good. Other colors, I think the choices are red, yellow and black, mean your day is not going well. Each of the colors has a specific punishment. One, which is in the 3rd grade mind particularly abominable, is you have to write a letter to the person you hurt/insulted/were mean to and apologize as well as a letter to your parents explaining what you did and why. The GirlChild hasn't, thus far this year, gotten anything but green.

They also send a sheet home at the end of the week, in the "Friday Folder," color coded with the color of your card for each day that week. There was a crisis this week because I didn't realize I was suppose to sign and return it to school. While I can't be categorically sure, I think, I threw it away when I was cleaning up last weekend. I managed to smooth it over with her teacher but she and I had a few tense moments on the way to school.

The GirlChild continues to advocate I not walk her into her classroom every morning. One of the reasons I go, besides the fact that it torments her so, is that she has a hard time getting her backpack unloaded and her homework turned in. I don't know if it's normal, most of the other kids manage to get their homework turned in, but she doesn't seem to be able to focus long enough to get it all in its proper place.

One day this week we had our "Math Facts" folder, our math flash cards and homework in the homework folder. Each of these items has a separate and distinct place in the classroom. When we arrived at school she had an agenda other than putting her homework in the appropriate place. She took everything out of her backpack and stuffed it in her desk. I asked if she was going to turn her homework in and she acted as though it had completely slipped her mind. She turned in her homework from the homework folder but nothing else. I asked her what else she needed to do. The math facts folder went into the appropriate basket. She wandered away briefly and then came back. I asked what she was going to do with the flash cards. She looked at me blankly despite everyone else walking behind her desk to put their flash cards in the box sitting on the table. Finally I suggested she needed to ask the teacher if she needed assistance.

We talked about it when school started and she assured me it would not be a problem this year. She was in the third grade and could manage such plebeian tasks. On Monday (four days into the new school year) night the Friday Folder was still in her backpack. She had all kinds of excuses; the teacher didn't ask for it, she tried to turn it in but the teacher didn't want it, I'd not returned the behavior sheet and the teacher told her to bring it back in the Friday Folder.

After much intense negotiating, we have finally came to an agreement. She will (1) go into class and promptly turn in her homework, (2) I will leave immediately (lest I do something heinous and embarrass her in some way) after she turns in her homework and (3) when she does this five days in a row without me having to say anything to remind her, I will begin dropping her off. Then, as long as I don't get any reports that she isn't turning her homework in, I will only come into school when absolutely, positively necessary. If, however, during this five day period, she doesn't get her homework turned in, and I have to remind her, then she will have to start over and begin garnering days again. This morning she managed to get everything in its proper place. Maybe next Friday I can drop her off.

I do miss her when she's gone.

And despite what she thinks, my goal in life isn't really to make her life a living hell.