First Day of School Blues, 08/21/2003

Sometimes being a parent breaks my heart.

The GirlChild returned to school yesterday. She is going into 3rd Grade and has been apprehensive about it. She told me the other day "I'm afraid I'll fail, Mom." We've gone to tutoring 4 days a week all summer; two days for reading, two days for math. We're not trying to turn her into a genius. Instead we're trying to keep her in the middle of the pack. I think we've finally gotten her reading at grade level and her math skills are the best they've ever been but instead of making her confident, it makes her worry about failure.

She seems to enjoy being in the 3rd grade as much as someone can enjoy it after only 2 days. Yesterday they only went until 1:00 so it's really only been 1 1/2 days.

Her teacher has been there for several years (at least three that I know of) and is young and hip and with it. The GirlChild likes her even if she did go to that A&M University to the north. She seems very nice and I've only heard good things about her but I learned from that half a year with the Nun from Hell to keep my ear to the ground and talk to the teacher all the time.

I didn't realize when the Sister said "I just don't know what's going on with the GirlChild" how very true that was; she didn't have any idea because she wasn't teaching anything. When we moved her at Christmas and I got her workbooks they were filled with gibberish. It didn't appear any of the work, if you could even call it that, had been graded. The GirlChild couldn't read but the Sister keep saying "Oh don't worry about it, it'll work out." Homework was taking 2 to 3 hours a night to do. When I would complain to the Sister about it, her response was "what were you doing."

They were teaching the Saxon Math program. I now know it is based upon do side A, the teacher grades it, and the student does side B to reinforce what the student learned and hopefully learn from the mistakes the student made on Side A. The Sister would simply send 2-4 of them home a night, where nothing had been done, and call it homework.

We've not been Catholic very long, but I think I understand all these cradle Catholics who dislike the nuns.

Take the one that's at the GirlChild's school now. Last year the GirlChild's class was getting ready for First Communion, a really big deal in the life of a Catholic. At Mass one Sunday morning, they had the whole First Communion class come to the front of the church and they blessed everyone and gave the children their first communion books and wished them well on their journey. It was very sweet.

Well the GirlChild forgot her book and left it in Church. I called the Sister and told her what had happened and told her we'd be happy to pay for another book or do whatever we needed to do to rectify the situation. The Sister told me not to worry about it, she'd found the book or had someone give it to her, and she'd get it to the GirlChild. Well First Communion class came and went and I asked the GirlChild about it. She told me the Sister said "We don't do I forgot" or some crap like that.

So I called the Sister again. Oh yes she remembered and she'd make sure the GirlChild got her book and I shouldn't worry about it blah blah blah. So the next week comes around and I ask the GirlChild about what had happened in First Communion class. More of the same crap. So I called the Sister yet again. I offered to come by and pick the damned book up [imagine me rolling my eyes here] but no, the Sister would take care of it.

When the GirlChild came home the next week and told me the Sister didn't give her her book and that she wasn't going to get to take First Communion because she couldn't do the work because she didn't have her book and her lip was trembling, I wanted to choke me a nun. I suspect the good Sister put that thought in her head. I can just hear her, "how do you expect to get to take First Communion if you don't bring your book to class and do the work." It's bad enough that she's cranky and bossy and can't remember from day-to-day to bring the stupid book but to allow the GirlChild to think she wasn't going to get to take First Communion made me furious. The next day I called the principal. I told her that we had a problem and we needed to get it fixed, today if possible. I guess I should have started with the Principal but you live and learn.

My next contact with the Sister came when we were talking about the GirlChild's first communion dress. I knew (remember I've not been Catholic long) traditionally little girls wear white dresses and some of them even wear veils. The GirlChild however wanted color. White's not a particularly good color for her and I didn't see anything wrong with her being different if that's what she wanted. I called the Sister to discuss it with her. She told me a color other than white would be o.k. but I needed to be sure her dress was "appropriate." And she said it in that way that made me think, "I guess the GirlChild can't wear those stiletto heels, fishnet stockings, tube top and that black leather mini skirt I got her at Wal-Mart last week." I did keep those thoughts to myself.

So when we get to the church for her first communion the GirlChild had a beautiful ice blue satin sleeveless dress. It was an appropriate length for a child of 8 and hit just below her knees. We had a matching headband with a little bit of a veil like thing in the back decorated with matching roses. We even managed to find beautiful sandles in the same color blue. The GirlChild was, in a word, lovely. And the other little girls in her class (these are second graders mind you) had floor length white dresses and full veils that would have only been "appropriate" in a huge evening wedding held in a five star hotel. I guess the Sister's idea of appropriate and mine are different.

So, and I'll stop here soon, we are in the church taking pictures of the First Communion class and we were finished taking the group pictures and I wanted to straighten the GirlChild's dress and I called her over to me. And the Sister had the gall to tell her to stop and stay where she was. Again the visions of choking a nun danced through my head. I looked at the Sister and said "GirlChild, come here right now" and the priest had the good sense to back the old bitty off. I think he could see scenes from the Exorcist getting ready to play out in his church.

So, I fully understand why Catholics have animosity toward the nuns.

Actually when I started this rant I intended to talk about my baby growing up and going away from me. And how life is spinning by so quickly and moving so fast and I just want to stop and make it all slow down. Today when I took her to school she told me "You can just drop me off, you don't need to come in, Mom." And I thought, "yes, just drive a stake through my heart, GirlChild."

Sometimes being a parent breaks my heart......